If This Is Love
by whenthewallscomecrashingdown
Summary: Love is a four letter word. And yet there are so many definitions and uses for the word "love". But there's just something about love that dictionaries can't seem to capture. And honestly, if this is love, I'd rather feel indifferent.


**Love**—

Love is a four letter word.

And yet there are so many definitions and uses of the word "love". According to the dictionary, love means "to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person)." I love my family, I love my friends, I love my extended family, I love my hobbies. Love is used so lightly these days, sometimes "I love you" is even used as goodbye.

A Muggle band made love an acronym: **L **is for the way you look at me, **O** is for the only one I see, **V **is very, very extraordinary, **E **is even more than anyone that you adore…

You can love people, things, animals, sports, multiple things at once. But there is only _one_ first love. That first love when you fall truly, madly, deeply, trusting implicitly, loving naively, hoping against hope, falling head over heels, throwing yourself in completely. You only get one first love, and mine doesn't even love me back.

I love him. I know it. My mum has tried to tell me that I don't, maybe it's an infatuation and I'll get over it, she says. But I know better.

**Love** is talking loudly so he can hear you.

**Love** is doing your make up so you look good for _him_.

**Love** is laughing loudly around him to make it look like you're fun to be around.

**Love **is the swooping sensation you get in your stomach whenever he walks near you.

**Love** is smiling at him from across the room, even when he can't see you.

**Love** is squaring your shoulders, encouraging yourself to ask him to be partners for that potions project, even though you could have a much better, smarter partner.

**Love** is asking him if he's okay when he doesn't look it and no one else notices.

**Love** is silently rooting for his team during a match, even if it means yours will be defeated.

**Love** is touching his forearm during that _one_ detention you had, and then being ecstatic that he didn't pull away for a few minutes.

But as much as love his, unrequited love is not. According to the dictionary, unrequited means "not returned or reciprocated: unrequited love".

And there, right there, it says it. An unrequited love. Like it's the most normal thing in the world. It's right there, in the dictionary. Nice to know that my unrequited love can be analytically defined. But there's so much more to unrequited love, there's so much emotion. The way that your heart twists in pain every time you see him and know that he doesn't feel the same way.

There's just something about unrequited love that dictionary definitions can't seem to capture.

**_Unrequited love_** is seeing him roll his eyes as he hears you talking loudly.

**_Unrequited love_** is spending hours on your makeup and having him not even look in your direction once.

_**Unrequited love**_ is him not even laughing at your jokes.

**_Unrequited love _**is the way he seems unaffected by your presence, even when you're so affected by his.

_**Unrequited love**_ is him not noticing you smiling relentlessly at him, and if he does, he pretends like he doesn't notice you.

_**Unrequited love**_ is him turning down your offer for a potions partner in favor of his latest crush.

_**Unrequited love**_ is him telling you that he's fine in an irritated voice when you can clearly tell that everything is definitely not fine. And then pretending you never even asked.

_**Unrequited love**_ is watching his team fly to victory, beaming at everyone, and then seeing him snog someone else in his happiness.

_**Unrequited love**_ is him pulling back his arm, turning away from you, ignoring you the rest of the detention, and then snogging his girlfriend senseless in front of you at the end of the detention.

If this is love, I'd rather just feel indifference.

Perhaps then, I could finally forget about Scorpius Malfoy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yes, I was supposed to update Desolation today. Yes, I already blamed my not uploading on my laziness at not being able to type it up. Yes, I typed this up anyway, and not that chapter. Yes, I suck.**

**But I hope you enjoyed this! :)**

**Let me know what you think, lovies!**

**~wwccd**


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